Kantian Know-Nothings

A thing is a thing
And you know that it’s true,
But a Kantian thing’s
Not so simple to do.

A Kantian thing
Is a thing-in-itself.
You can’t know it at all
Though it sits on the shelf.

A thing is a thing
If it is or it’s not.
Can we burgle Kant’s house
Of the things that he’s got?

Some things we will have
And some things we will know.
Some philosopher’s nonsense
Will just have to go!

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