When I said I was ready
I didn’t mean ready for anything
I’m not the standing army
Ready for incoming missiles
Or enemy troops swarming our borders.
I’m more the steady green light
On the battery charger, after I’ve
Had my afternoon nap, I’m more
The copy machine LCD status display
Or the now-silent drip coffee maker
After it’s done gurgling the juice
Of life. I’m more the beagle
Fixated on a leash hanging by the door
Ready for a walk in the park.
I’m ready for this elevator door
To ding open, more than ready for the
Credits to roll, completely ready for this book
To sputter out one more dull, mind-numbing
Paragraph so I can snap it shut
And go to sleep because, by golly
I’m ready for bed.
—thin gruel of an attempt to mimic Billy Collins